Read Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Kevin Leman Free Online
Book Title: Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours|
The author of the book: Kevin Leman
ISBN 13: 9780800713737
Format files: PDF, Epub, DOCx, TXT
The size of the: 9.48 MB
Edition: Fleming H Revell Co
Date of issue: November 1st 1983
Reader ratings: 6.7
Loaded: 222 times
Read full description of the books Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours:
I don't know why I pick up so many parenting books. It's not like I expect them to give you a one-all answer but I do like pulling ideas from several different view points. That being said, I started reading Leman's book based on reality discipline just to gather some more ideas.
He defines reality discipline as "consistent, decisive and respectful way for parents to love not 'punish.'" Basically it's the idea to give kids choices but hold them accountable. I have to admit that I was bothered by the book's title "Making Your Child Mind." How do you "make" a child do anything? Thankfully Leman even knocks his own title choice by saying, "Don't make your child mind, guide your child toward making wise decisions about the realities of life with the freedom to fail."
The one thing that impressed me about this book is that Leman touches on so many child/parenting subjects from tantrums, homework, talking about sex and sibling fighting. He is very brief about each which is good this is where I think the book misses out. I would have preferred to have some more depth in some of these subjects. He gives examples of real stories for some items but I would have preferred to have more meat to all of it.
What I enjoyed the most on Leman's parenting advice is how he is all about building your child's confidence and ability to see reality. They are to take on responsibilities and be part of the family unit but also be comforted by their parents and loved in encouraging ways. He encourages parents to show their true selves and not try to hide their flaws, rather to be more open and honest about them. In his own words he is "asking parents both fathers and mothers to melt a little, to be real, to show love and respect to your kids, to let your family life be full of flavor." Love that phrase - family life full of flavor.
Overall I think it is a good quick parenting read. I just felt the book lacked in depth and I craved a bit more of Leman's thoughts in the parenting areas.
Some of the best parts:
God’s love for us is unconditional. He loves us just because we are who we are, imperfect and prone to make mistakes. And he wants us to love our children in the same unconditional way.
Lasting self esteem comes when kids learn that they belong - to a family, to a community, to a group of friends.
Critical need in homes today is that they become the kind of environment in which children can learn more about themselves. Home should be a place where children can make mistakes as they try out some things they have decided on their own.
In all my years of private practice I’ve never heard one of my young clients (the children) mention “quality time.” All a child knows is that he wants our time and our attention... In trying to find time for your children, don’t worry too much about how much “quality” is in it. Give them all the time you can and the quality will take care of itself. And as you give them time, you will get to know them.
Important for our children to see us as imperfect. There is no better way to teach a child about having true faith in God. When the child learns that his parents are truly dependent upon the grace of God and that they need God’s help, he will see that God is very real and not just a belief that is talked in about in an abstract way.
Sad to see so many parents - out of pride or selfishness - refuse to let their children know that they have flaws and that they don’t have it all together. When parents are brave enough to share their flaws and lacks with the children through prayer, they serve as beautiful models of what it means to depend on God.
Read information about the authorDr. Kevin Leman is an internationally recognized psychologist, author, and media personality. He was the first to popularize Adlerian psychological concepts in the United States, which are based on birth-order and family dynamics. Dr. Leman holds Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctorate degrees in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona.
Dr. Leman is the founder and president of "Couples of Promise", an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. He is also the founder of MatchWise.com, a Christian online dating service based on his research in birth-order dynamics.
His professional affiliations include the American Psychological Association, American Federation of Radio and Television Artists, National Register of Health Services Providers in Psychology, and the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology.
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